Because I’ve been brain deep in school and papers and test, the biggest things that happened to me this week all happened on TV. Yeah, don’t judge me. I have a life, I swear.
**HUGE FLAMING SPOILER ALERTS TO EVERYONE WHO HASN’T SEEN THIS WEEK’S EPISODE OF GLEE OR GREY’S ANATOMY. DON’T READ ONE OR TWO UNLESS YOU’VE ALREADY SEEN/DON’T REALLY CARE.** You have been warned.
1. OMGZ, GLEE WTF
I was watching this week’s episode of Glee in the Newman Center Student Lounge with a couple of friends. Ian actually doesn’t really like Glee and Jami could give two phalluses (Should the plural form technically be phalli? Food for thought.), but I refused to miss the episode, so I made them sit down and change the channel for me.
First of all, they sang “Teenage Dream” which made Ian and me crack up because we were basically singing that the entire weekend while we were in Ohio. Ian even called Victor and told him to turn the channel. And let me just say, those boys sang the heck out of that song. To be honest, Katy Perry could probably retire because a boys acapella choir sang her song better than she did. The only thing she can do to save face at this point is to bow out gracefully. She’ll never top them. Ever.
Second of all, I love Coach Bieste. I don’t know why. I just love the crap out of her. Maybe it’s because she’s a female football coach. Maybe it’s because she’s got that softer side to her. Maybe it’s because she’s just kind of a badass. I don’t know. I just really love her. She might be my second favorite character, right after Sue. So when Mr. Schue kissed her, I felt kind of warm and gooey and happy. COACH BIESTE NEEDS A BOYFRIEND, DAMN IT. Just sayin.
Third of all, OMGZ, KURT GOT KISSED! Okay, so a bunch of people are telling me that they saw that coming but I DIDN’T. Holy crap, when it happened Jami and I both screamed and jumped out of our seats. Ian gave us this sanctimonious like, “I-totally-saw-that-coming-you-simpletons” look, but Jami and I were too busy pointing accusingly at the TV with our mouths agape to care.
And honestly, I don’t know how I feel about that kiss. I really don’t. I mean, I almost shat my pants so it was surprising as hell, but what does this mean for Kurt? Does this mean that douchebag football player might come out of the closet and start dating him? Or does this mean that he’ll stay in the closet and secretly pine for Kurt? And does this mean that Kurt is going to go out with Blaine? Because I don’t know about that. I think Blaine is kind of a flat character and I don’t care for him that much.
But whatevs. I can’t wait for next week because Gwenyth Paltrow is going to be singing “F*** You” by Cee Lo Green, except it’s going to be the “Forget You” radio-friendly version. And I’m less excited that Gwenyth Paltrow is going to sing it because I could honestly give two phall(uses)(i) about Gwenyth Paltrow, but more because I love that song. A lot. So excited.
2. Avery sucker-punched Karev for April
A of all, I totally knew that Karev and April weren’t going to do it. April is a virgin and she shouldn’t give it up to a tortured d-bag in an on-call room. And when she begged Karev to take it slowly and he snapped, I knew he was going to walk away and she was going to lay there and feel like crap. I knew it. I called it. And quite honestly, if the idiot had just walked away from the situation to begin with, she wouldn’t have to go running to Avery.
Second of all, Avery sucker-punched Karev. Which may or may not have made my night.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Karev, especially two weeks ago when he sang to that girl who needed a trachea and worked round the clock to save her life. I love sweet Karev. I hate d-bag Karev.
I also love Avery. I have this undying love for all the underdogs and for me, he’s the biggest underdog of them all. And watching him take out all his anger at his inadequacies on Karev was especially cathartic for both of us. And why is it that every time Karev gets punched, he goes down immediately? George punched him way back when in season one and it was a knock-out punch. For all the shit he talks about being a tough guy, Karev seems to suck at fighting.
Also, I miss old Cristina. That is all I can really say on that subject.
3. I really want to plan a teen movie marathon night
Said teen movie marathon night will include teen movies from all decades. Actually, it’s probably going to be a bunch of nights.
So far for the ’80s, I have:
- St. Elmo’s Fire
- The Breakfast Club
- Sixteen Candles
- Weird Science
- Pretty in Pink
For the ’90s, I have:
- She’s All That
- Never Been Kissed
- 10 Things I Hate About You
For the new millennium, I have:
- Mean Girls
- She’s the Man
- John Tucker Must Die
Now, here’s where the controversy comes in. Obviously there are more teen movies than that; those are just the basics. But this is a kind of nuanced marathon. All of the above are comedies or dramatic comedies. Should I include non-comedies, like Cruel Intentions? And what about the American Pie series? And for the new millennium, should I include The Princess Diaries? What about Juno and Charlie Bartlett? Or even A Walk to Remember? There are just so many teen movies out there. WHERE DO I DRAW THE LINE?
That’s the Thursday Three, folks. Tune in next week, when I plan on actually having a life and blogging about it.