It is officially December. You know what that means? It means that college students all over the country are beginning to realize just how much money and brain cells they’ve spent on alcohol and are officially panicking as finals loom ever closer. I am no exception. And thus, I present you with the Thursday Three: end-of-semester freak-out edition.
1. WHY IS THANKSGIVING BREAK SO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS BREAK?
It makes no sense! We get an entire week off for Thanksgiving only to come back for two more weeks before going back. When you think about it, it’s completely inefficient.
I propose a different system. How about we start school in the end of July and just end the semester before Thanksgiving. It makes much more sense than lulling students into a false sense of security with a comforting, food-filled Thanksgiving break, only to thrust them back into the stressful school atmosphere for a final couple of weeks and force them to prepare for finals that have little to no bearing on the bigger picture.
2. Christmas shopping makes me feel like this: a;kldjfaweurwel nasrueohgoraypweiur
I hate Christmas shopping. I hate it more than I hate Hitler. You know, it’s not enough that I’m losing my mind over finals and projects and papers. No, I have to add the stress of shopping for Christmas presents.
Shopping for my parents is easy. Usually I just get them some Mizzou T-shirts or sweaters from the bookstore and they’re happy. Shopping for my little brother is a little harder, but he usually tells me what he wants for Christmas and even if he doesn’t like whatever I get him, his birthday is close enough to Christmas that I can make it up to him. My family is not the problem.
It’s shopping for everyone else that makes me break out into hives. I’m a broke college student! I can’t afford shit! So when I decide not to get anyone anything, I feel guilty when people get me something. Then when I get people something, they give that sort of half-assed smile, like, “Oh. Yeah. I love it…” except you know that they’re really thinking, “WTF is this? I don’t want this!”
Maybe I’m sticking to my guns and refusing to get anyone anything this year. Or I’ll draw cards like I used to when I was in kindergarten and decorate it with a finger-painted Christmas wreath.
3. Bureaucracy will be the death of me
I’m working on my advanced reporting project and as a government reporter, I have to talk to politicians and office workers all the time. This comes with miles and miles of red tape, outlining who I have to talk to before I can talk to the person who actually knows anything.
I experienced a little bit of this last year when I was an education reporter and reporting on the University. I always had to go through the University’s PR people, who were nice enough, but they acted more like a shield than anything else. This afternoon I tried to talk to the divisional director for a story I’m working on and she told me she couldn’t talk to me until she got clearance.
Translation: the media is dangerous and I don’t want to talk to you.
Look, I get that I’m a reporter and a lot of reporters are jerks. I wouldn’t want to talk to reporter if I were a government worker, either. But I’m a genuinely nice person and I’m not going to be rude. Granted, my story has kind of an investigative feel to it, but I’m working for the good of the people. Whatever happened to the best interests of the public?
That’s your Thursday Three, folks. You may continue panicking.