For everyone I’m leaving behind

Soon my blog’s header will no longer be relevant. But that’s beside the point.

Wednesday night was pretty emotional, for those of you who were there. The CSA had our last SteerCo meeting ever, and we affirmed our graduating seniors. And let me tell you, I never cry. I don’t like crying. Stuff starts flowing all over your face and it’s gross, and in the wise words of the Jersey Shore cast, it’s just not a good situation. But despite my dislike for allowing viscous fluids to stream down my face, I cried. People were saying stuff about one another and about me that I never thought about.

But I just want to impart some thoughts to everyone who wishes that I would stay.

I love each and every one of you. Nothing you could ever do or every say would make that change.

I’m so grateful for each and every one of you. I’m grateful that God has put you in my life and I’m grateful for the plan He laid out for me by bringing me here. Looking back at my life thus far, it’s so easy to see where the Holy Spirit has been nudging and pulling me. God brought me to Mizzou so that I would establish ties with an amazing group of people. He brought me here so that I would find a family that constantly brings me closer to Him, and to allow me to do the same for them. He brought me here so that I could learn a trade, become sufficient at it and eventually use it to change the world. He brought me here so that I could learn about myself, and learn about who I was in Him. But now that I have done all of this and learned all of this, He’s calling me to move on.

Newman’s Lenten theme this year was “Transitions,” which was appropriate for all of us, and it meant something very special to me. God had been using the time to prepare me to leave Mizzou, because only He knows just how difficult it was going to be. But just as He’s been preparing me for life after graduation, He’s been preparing the rest of you as well. Just as I can’t stay in this moment (as much as I wish I could), neither can you.

I’m going to move on and it’s going to be sad for all of us. But next year, new freshmen will come in and it will be time to minister to them. And more people will graduate and more people will come in. Nothing is ever going to be like this moment right now. And eventually, Newman will forget that I was ever there, as it should be. I have served my purpose. It’s time for others, now, to fulfill their purposes.

I’m not worried about any of you. All of you will be okay because God’s got you in His hands and He’s raining down every blessing upon you. So don’t be sad, and don’t be afraid.

And I’ll always be with you. No matter where you are or where I am, I’m there, loving you and praying for you. I’m just a phone call or a Facebook message away. And I’ll definitely come back to visit.

So I won’t cry, because I know that you will be okay. And please don’t cry for me, either, because I’ll be okay too.


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